I stay for moments after I really feel encyclopedic. Yesterday, at a yard get together, individuals requested who sang the track that was enjoying and I screamed out “Keyshia Cole” with a bit of an excessive amount of enthusiasm. I used to be proper, and I lit up with such delight that I felt silly.

I at all times assume I’m annoying individuals, when in actuality individuals aren’t excited about me in any respect. Liberating. Anyway, I like being proper. It’s enjoyable to be proper, and individuals who act prefer it’s so Zen and funky and humbling to be improper are … improper! Get over your self! Humility is so 2019; this 12 months is all about shameless bragging.

I wish to see your trip pics. I wish to see your diploma. I wish to see your accomplished pile of gorgeous, aromatic folded laundry. I wish to see you win.

Enough distress. Wear the crop high, flaunt the promotion, present me that salad you made and the french fries you ate when the salad wasn’t sufficient. As for me, I watched each single season of “Summer House” in lower than a month. After I typed that sentence, I went to calculate what number of minutes of TV that added as much as. I closed the calculator inside seconds of opening it as a result of some mysteries are finest left unsolved.

Trying to be deep is exhausting. I’m undoubtedly getting dumber. Why am I an professional in Mormon swinger TikTok drama? Meanwhile, I don’t know which crops are native to my space. Related to this uptick in Mormon swinger data: I blew by way of my TikTok restrict in the present day (once more!). So, as soon as once more, it’s time to do my self-care theater of deleting no matter social media app I’m permitting to spoil my life earlier than losing interest once more and redownloading it after three hours.

“If you’re bored, you’re boring” — honey, put together the starboard facet, as a result of that ship has sailed! I’m boring! And depressed, and anxious, and exhausted, and unwilling to look at a characteristic movie until I believe it’s going to be unhealthy. Where’s that within the D.S.M.? Don’t inform me.

A good friend not too long ago advised me that there aren’t any lightning bugs in Seattle. I couldn’t imagine it. It was the identical betrayal I felt after I came upon that the eating places in my hometown weren’t all mega-popular nationwide chains. It kills me that I received’t get to see every part you’re keen on, irrespective of how arduous I attempt, irrespective of who you might be. I don’t care when you see the identical colours I see — the colours aren’t vital to me — however I would like you to see a bug’s butt activate and off because the solar slips away behind the timber of my yard again in Ohio.

Maybe my good friend was improper. Maybe she wasn’t taking note of the bugs throughout her all these years. Maybe she was at all times surrounded by lightning and had no concept. Doubtful.

Now I’m again in New York. I used to be gone for therefore lengthy, and now you need to use your telephone to get on the subway. What the hell? Do we like that, or does it suck? Please don’t inform me; I don’t assume I truly care. Is that unhealthy? I simply don’t really feel like I can care about every part anymore. There have been a pair years after I cared about every part, and all it acquired me was an ulcer.

I by no means know what button to press on the fuel station. I’m fairly certain I selected diesel for the primary few months of driving as a result of I used to be too scared to ask. Oops! Thankfully I totaled that automobile, so nobody will ever know what I did to its inner organs.

Usually, I understand I used to be in the proper place on the proper time shortly after I’ve left. The ache creeps in and I wish to flip round and go proper again to the place we simply have been. I speak myself out of it — everybody’s already on the best way house. Too inconvenient. And how humiliating, to be the one one craning my neck towards one thing that ended. It in all probability meant extra to me than it did to you. But what when you’re trying, too? Is that one thing that occurs solely in motion pictures, or ought to I be looking out for longing glances extra usually?

Sometimes I say I’ve no targets, and I imply it. Is that pathetic or beautiful? Slightly of each, I believe. I imagine that I can do every part and nothing. I imagine I’ll disappear as shortly as I got here, that I can hate olives in the future and love them the following, that I’ll hold discovering new issues to like about myself and others. I imagine that in the future I’ll flip round to look behind me and also you’ll be trying, too. We’ll meet proper again on the center and sit again down in seats so freshly vacated that they’re nonetheless heat. There’s one thing a few heat chair that’s disgusting, until the warmth comes from somebody you understand and love. Isn’t that humorous? Heat from a butt continues to be warmth from a butt, irrespective of which butt it got here from. I digress.

I hope you get to see lightning bugs a minimum of as soon as in your life. Their gentle shines on as shortly because it shuts off till, earlier than you understand it, the summer time is over and the bugs are useless and also you and I are nonetheless right here, watching the world get greater and smaller and louder and extra cluttered. I’ll outlive thousands and thousands of lightning bugs, however my butt won’t ever be a light-weight supply. We’ve all acquired our particular little issues that nobody else can declare. Show me yours and I’ll present you mine, pulsing gently in tandem because the pink summer time solar climbs again up throughout the horizon.

Episode is a weekly column exploring a second in a author’s life. Mitra Jouhari has written for “Big Mouth,” “High Maintenance” and different tv exhibits. She is a co-creator and star of the comedy collection “Three Busy Debras.”