So, you could have been referred for household remedy by your counselor. Or maybe you’ve lastly reached the tip of the fixed battle and began in search of somebody to mediate. Either method, household remedy could be new terrain for many individuals.
Do you are feeling concern and trepidation that the therapist goes to “nail” you as a foul mother or father? Are you already satisfied that the therapist goes to “fix” your baby or your associate? Rest assured, if the therapist is doing their job correctly, neither is the aim of household remedy.
So, what are you able to anticipate?
First, anticipate (or search for) a therapist who has coaching and expertise in household remedy. There are numerous generalists on the market who dangle up a shingle and profess to deal with every part and everyone with out particular coaching or expertise in household remedy. That’s not what you’re in search of. You don’t go to a normal observe doctor to deal with most cancers or diabetes. In the identical method, you shouldn’t go to a generalist to deal with your loved ones. Family remedy could be very totally different from particular person remedy and requires specialised coaching and expertise. Your household is treasured. That is why it deserves an skilled, well-trained therapist who focuses on household remedy.
Second, anticipate your loved ones therapist to have a systemic perspective. They will see and work with your loved ones as a system (an interconnected entire). Family remedy is about intervening successfully in relationships. It considers each particular person and relational realities. The basic design for interventions in household remedy is predicated on two convictions:
- That the results of 1 individual’s selections and actions can have an effect on the lives of all of the people who find themselves considerably associated to them.
- That passable relating for one individual is inseparable from the accountable consideration of penalties for the entire folks to whom she or he is in a major relationship. (Boszormenyi-Nagy & Krasner, 1986).
Therefore, the household therapist ought to consider the welfare of all these to whom the recognized affected person is in a major relationship, whether or not they’re current within the remedy or not.
Third, anticipate the household therapist to keep away from pathologizing and to focus extra on the interactions of the members of the family than the “identified patient.” Many occasions, when households come to household remedy, they determine one member as the issue or the affected person and simply need the therapist to “fix” the issue or the recognized affected person. That will not be the way it ought to work in household remedy. Expect the household therapist to have a look at the relationships, the interactions, and the communication patterns between the family members and to intervene to enhance them. The therapist might achieve this by partaking each member of the household and their perceptions within the course of.
Fourth, anticipate the household therapist to take a strengths-based strategy. While you’re in all probability coming to remedy due to what you understand to be an issue, your loved ones is greater than the issue. Your household has strengths and internal assets that have to be introduced into play, and your loved ones therapist ought to enable you to uncover them.
Fifth, anticipate the household therapist to elicit and take note of your feelings. An vital precept of household remedy is what we name “state-dependent learning,” the concept that folks study finest about feelings when they’re in emotional states. Emotions are vital in relationships and, subsequently, in household remedy. They are to not be ignored or dismissed. Rather, they have to be introduced out. Emotions are a privileged place for affecting change in household relationships.
Sixth, anticipate the household therapist to pay shut consideration to the tales that you just inform about yourselves and to search for distinctive outcomes. The tales that we inform about ourselves could be limiting or empowering. The household therapist will problem these tales which can be limiting and assist to attract out these tales which can be empowering.
Finally, anticipate the household therapist to align along with your want for improved household functioning. There is an idea in household remedy known as homeostasis, the concept that household programs work (usually towards the remedy) to return to their most well-liked (dysfunctional) actuality or configuration. However, Dr. John Gottman suggests that each household has two homeostatic resting locations: a dysfunctional and a useful homeostatic level. The job of the household therapist is to align with and to help you towards your want for improved household functioning.
Boszormenyi-Nagy, I., & Krasner, B.R. (1986). Between Give and Take: A Clinical Guide to Contextual Therapy. New York: Brunnel/Mazel.